The best, worst, and wildest moments from this week on ‘The Real Housewives.’
Happy Hills week, Housewives faithful! That’s right, this Wednesday brought the return of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, where the tension was already at a high among the ‘wives themselves as well as for those of us watching, waiting on the edge of our seats for Girardi-gate. Their east coast counterparts The Real Housewives of New York City continued their trip to the Hamptons, where Sonja spiraled, Ramona got called out, and Eboni’s eyes were opened as to what a girls’ trip with this clique entails. Finally, The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion began, and while Teresa vs. Jackie waited in the wings, the Margaret vs. Jennifer showdown took off right away. Here are the best, worst, and wildest moments from this week in ‘wives!
HIGH POINT: Garcelle remembers, RHOBH
Well hello again to our L.A. (county) queens! It was a sincere joy to reunite with the Beverly Hills cast, checking in after a long quarantine, getting a glimpse of a new Housewife mansion, and attending yet another “barbecue” where there is no grilling and no denim. Despite the absence of Denise, season 11 is off to a promising start, having mercifully dropped Teddi, deservedly promoted Sutton, and happily added Crystal and (friend/sister) Kathy; the premiere teased some new darkness in Erika’s life — which we know will explode into so much more — but didn’t cut off the past entirely. Garcelle stole the episode with her firm refusal to immediately forget existing dramas the second last season ended. That’s bad news for Lisa Rinna, who was absolutely unforgivable toward Denise in that harrowing Zoom reunion and is hoping to erase that stain on her image right away — but Garcelle is unmoved by her schmoozy “how are the boys?” and declarations of self-reflection and even calling herself the c-word. Looks like those lips are made for groveling, at least a little while longer.
LOW POINT: Bad blood, RHONJ
“The target is Margaret,” Jennifer tells the camera before the RHONJ reunion even begins. And sure enough, the ladies come to this Shore-themed thunderdome ready to throw down. It starts off slow — Gia loves that her “sad song” has gone viral, Dolores got a new vagina, blah, blah, etc. — but starts to pick up when Teresa casually belittles Joe Benigno for being a plumber, and only gets grimmer from there. First, Teresa refuses to denounce her ex for spewing vitriol about Joe and Melissa in the press, I guess just because she can never stand to take away from any moment where her brother and sister-and-law are brought lower. But the ugliest chaos unfolds between Margaret and Jennifer (neither of whom are seated next to Andy, by the way), screaming at each other until Jennifer decides to play her ace: She alleges, with a self-satisfied smirk, that Margaret was the real source of the rumor about Evan, and hands it off to Teresa to confirm.
WILDEST MOMENT: Eboni in Wonderland, RHONY
If Eboni thought that her first trip to the Hamptons with her new group of friends was going to be a civilized escape of wine-tasting and boutique-hopping, her first full day on the vacation was a rude awakening. Everything starts going downhill at the winery, then further devolves while shopping. But it all really blows up at dinner that night, about which Eboni observes in a confessional, “I’m actually at this point feeling like Alice in Wonderland.” Maybe that’s due to Tweedledee and Tweedle-de Lesseps, sitting in their matching brand-new puff-sleeved tops and competitively FaceTiming men from the dinner table. Sonja, a hero of the people, laments the state of the world: “The poor are getting poorer; the homeless are getting homeless-ler!” The other women intervene and take away her rosé, but she’s already too far gone by the time Ramona dares insist that Wells Fargo has the best rates, which Sonja takes as a terrible offense because Wells Fargo is not her family! Welcome to the Real Housewives rabbit hole.
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Garcelle, RHOBH
FACT CHECK: Shoutout to Leah for following up with Ramona about whether she actually donated plasma (as she told the press, though there’s pretty much a zero percent chance she did), thereby forcing the RHONY OG to shout meaningless rebuttals until she short-circuited.
ALL IN THE FAMILY: RHONJ‘s Little Frankie is working for Teresa’s boyfriend Luis?!
KEEP AN EYE ON THIS ONE: Kathy Hilton’s fond childhood memory of terrorizing neighborhood kids by playing dentist tells me that she’s got the killer instinct that Housewives demands. She’s been preparing for RHOBH her whole life.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: “Why would we want to cancel culture?” — Ramona, RHONY