Like a Fine Wine: A Comprehensive Wine Pairing Guide for the Vision Varieties in ‘WandaVision’ – Nerds and Beyond

WandaVision may be over, but that doesn’t mean we still can’t enjoy one of the greatest gifts it gave us — an assorted pack of Visions for every mood and occasion. While you’re getting ready for your rewatch, we thought it would be a good idea to come up with a comprehensive list of wines one can enjoy with their favorite Vision presentation. Enjoy.

Author disclaimer: I am not a wine connoisseur, forgive me.

Vision Disassembled

Pros:

• Good for travel
• Perfect for sneaking into places Vision isn’t allowed
• Changes colors

Cons

• Messy
• Hard to assemble
• Kind of sad

Pairing: Grapes

Professor Vision is Speaking Now

Pros:

• Probably willing to give extra credit
• Gentle as a butterfly
• Probably smells like rich mahogany

Cons:

• Jacket may be scratchy
• Probably has an early bedtime

Pairing: Port

A White Vision, No!

Pros:

• Capable of reason after a macho man episode
• Has the Hollywood explosion walk down to a science
• Deep voice

Cons:

• Boring
• Fight first talk later mentality
• Too monochrome

Pairing: The cheapest boxed supermarket wine

On This Farm There Was a Vision …

Pros:

• Ready for a hard day’s work
• Even more ready for quenching thirst

Cons:

• A little too earthy

Pairing: Homemade Beet Wine from Schrute Farms

An Absolute Vision-ary

Pros:

• Perfect to serenade someone with “Yakety Yak”
• Great at dinner parties
• Can save someone from choking
• A definite “can’t go wrong” option; perfection

Cons:

• Isn’t available all times of day due to other engagements
• Too pure to create diversions

Pairing: Champagne

A Vision a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Pros:

• Perfect for everyday wear
• Great to enjoy at home or at a restaurant
• Versatile

Cons

• Stickler for rules

Pairing: Pinot Noir

Vision – Big Red Robot

Pros:

• Smells like Big Red gum
• Funny guy
• The cardigan is downright irresistible and definitely cozy

Cons:

• Gets a little gummed up easily

Pairing: Pinot Grigio

The Loss of a Vision Teardrop

Pros:

• Epitome of comfort
• Makes you feel like home
• Knows just what to say

Cons

• Can’t stay
• May or not be a product of chaos

Pairing: None, don’t drink because you’re sad

A Vision of Halloween Suburban Dad

Pros:

• Cute as a button with a hint of “don’t cross me”
• Strong dad vibes
• High pec accentuation and hidden Mind Stone undertones

Cons

• Not bright enough to grab the attention of zombified town residents
• Less than ideal for flight due to loose shorts

Pairing: Dry Riesling

Is He Glamor? Is He Illusion? Either Way, He’s a Vision

Pros:

• One word: Magical
• Very fast
• Good at magic tricks; almost too good
• Hilarious

Cons:

• Definitely under the influence of something
• Inhibited by human norms

Pairing: Cabernet Sauvignon

A Soft and Sensitive Vision of a Man

Pros:

• Would 100% buy you chocolate to make you feel better
• Would watch a chick flick with you
• Gives great advice

Cons:

• Hard to decide if it’s better with the sweater on or off
• A little nervous

Pairing: Merlot

80s Daddy Vision

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Pros:

• Perfect for fashionably digging graves
• Looks great while levitating
• Optional jacket easily masks snatched waist when needed

Cons:

• Too spicy for your wife to be willing to have a serious conversation with while wearing
• Might make you sweat

Pairing: (Extra) Spicy Mulled Wine

The entirety of WandaVision is now available on Disney+.